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Packing for Baby #4's Birth!!

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It has been way too long since I blogged, however I have been making lots of videos on my newest journey through donor conception for baby #4, purposefully solo! Go check out my video(s) on what I am packing for labour, but here is a list for you to reference as well: Homebirth List {Medical Supplies} 10 blue (puppy pee) pads 5 sterile gauze sponges Maxi pads Always Infinity Overnights & Regular flow (will last through recovery) Peri bottle/sitz bath 2 large garbage bags 2 plastic sheets/shower curtains hydrogen peroxide Digital thermometer Tylenol and/or Ibuprofen Laxatives (for postpartum) Epsom salts Tucks pads Witch hazel {Homebirth Supplies} hand mirror bendy straws (silicone) 2 large bowls (throw up + placenta) 10 old towels 5-10 face cloths 2 sets of sheets 8-10 receiving blankets large blanket for mom clean shower extension cord  vehicle with tank full of gas laundry basket to store juice, yogurt, fruit, ice chips, popsicles & gatoraid for mom, kids and birth team visib
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Are You Healed, or Are You Distracted?

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  Fundraising for the Kids Help Phone  with sunflower seedlings The distinction is hard. Is this progress, a stage of grief where you can be distracted and excited for some aspects of your life - leading towards acceptance & joy again? Or are you avoiding your pain with work that takes you away, mentally and physically, from what you should be processing?   Fundraising for the Run For Women('s Mental Health) with handmade paper roses The other component of this self doubt, is that people don't appreciate just making it  sometimes. Yes, we all want to be healthy and perfect. We all want to be cured. But there is no cure - not for mental illness, not for grief, not for a lot of things in life. The only thing we can do is learn to live with  it. People don't like seeing people just "get by". If someone is actively suffering, it is uncomfortable and we can distance ourselves from the situation, judge them - maybe help should we want to fee
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Gratitude & the Christmas Spirit While Your Life is Falling Apart.

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I'm not going to sugarcoat it, separation SUCKS.  No longer being with, parenting with, and depending on your best friend SUCKS.  Being an unplanned single mom of 3 kids 5 and under? SUCKS. Lately, I have been in a negative, unChristmasy headspace. First holidays during divorces are really hard. All the bitterness from previous celebrations plus hurt that your family isn't together this year - it's a tough time. Especially when visitation isn't settled out, the kids sense the uncertainty, it's just a very hollow feeling holiday season this year. Today, I finally was able to somewhat see through the fog about it. See, every time something doesn't go exactly as planned, I start to beat myself up, blame myself and also become very resentful towards my ex not being around to help make things easier. It sends me into this tailspin where I can feel the tension and unhealthy thought patterns, but the thing about grief and/or mental illness - kn
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