DoulaMamaWolf

I'm not going to sugarcoat it, separation SUCKS.  No longer being with, parenting with, and depending on your best friend SUCKS.  Being an unplanned single mom of 3 kids 5 and under? SUCKS. Lately, I have been in a negative, unChristmasy headspace. First holidays during divorces are really hard. All the bitterness from previous celebrations plus hurt that your family isn't together this year - it's a tough time. Especially when visitation isn't settled out, the kids sense the uncertainty, it's just a very hollow feeling holiday season this year. Today, I finally was able to somewhat see through the fog about it. See, every time something doesn't go exactly as planned, I start to beat myself up, blame myself and also become very resentful towards my ex not being around to help make things easier. It sends me into this tailspin where I can feel the tension and unhealthy thought patterns, but the thing about grief and/or mental illness - kn