Introduction!

Hello, and welcome to The Married Doula!

Hopefully you've made it here through my other blogs, The Novice Doula (thenovicedoula.blogspot.ca) and The Pregnant Doula (thepregnantdoula.blogspot.ca). If not, please check them out, as well as being engaged, I am also pregnant with baby #2 and an aspiring doula.

So, who am I? I'm the Married/Novice/Pregnant Doula! This is me:

And this is the groom, we'll call him H:

As you can see, he's obsessed with his 1975 Dodge, and wears a basic uniform of black tee shirt and jeans on a daily basis, whether to work, to work on vehicles, or even to photoshoots (the blue was a rare deviation from the norm). 

And here are some of my favourite photos together:

Our story is a wonderful one, that I absolutely love to tell, so sit back and enjoy!

We met back in third grade, when H and is family moved to our home town and joined our elementary school. While I don't remember much of that year, it was his least favourite in school - but even back then, he remembers having a crush on me. I knew him, and I would say we were friends, but not that close. 

While in the same school, we didn't have any classes together after that, so we knew each other but didn't really spend time together. in sixth grade, I was homeschooled, so then we saw each other even less. 

In seventh grade, I was still homeschooled, but allowed to attend school events - like the hallowe'en dance. I didn't really know many kids there, so I stayed on the outskirts of the dance, until I found a familar looking guy on the benches outside the gym. It was H! I sat beside him, and we chatted for a while - finally, I convinced him to dance. He won't admit it, but he was quite a bit shorter than me at this point, and I remember my arms angling down while they were on his shoulders! Some of our friends laughed, but we didn't care. We had always gotten along, and were happy to be hanging out again.

We hung out a few times during the winter, and come March, I invited him to my 14th birthday. It was fun, with music and cake, and he had brought me a teddy bear & chocolate bar. After, he offered to walk my friends and I part way home. Just as he was about to turn back, I called him over. We were right in front of a local church, where we liked to climb the trees behind. 

I was pretty nervous (being 14), but I asked him if he wanted to be my boyfriend - and he said yes! After that, we would hang out and hike, climb trees, etc or at least talk on the phone almost every day. We were quite an innocent couple, we held hands once (and I sang him a song I wrote in the underpass on the way to the beach), and I stole a kiss he wasn't ready for, again just once. Mostly, we just enjoyed each other's company, we could talk or hike for hours and never get bored. 

That summer, though, I moved away. I'm told I got my friend to break up with him for me - I guess I was too embarrassed! We never stopped being friends though, but we didn't stay connected as much anymore. Sometimes we would talk on facebook, and those nights we would always feel so happy and nostalgic. 

We lived very different lives while apart - I even became pregnant at 17, and was so excited to be a mother. Unfortunately, the relationship turned sour, and I had to leave, for both my baby's & my sake. I decided to move back in with my mom - in the next town over from our hometown.

H contacted me right away, in fact he had even talked to me well into the night while leaving my ex, and he was so comforting and positive I couldn't help but feel better. I was 35 weeks pregnant when I came "home", and he immediately wanted to take me out for lunch - I was so nervous, though, I told him maybe after the baby came. Finally, my baby was born - a gorgeous little 8lb 2oz baby boy, born 8 days past his due date, and I agreed to lunch with H. 

10 days after the birth of "Roo" (our boy's nickname), I set off to meet H in town, the first time I'd seen him in 4 years. I had Roo strapped to me in his wrap, and I was so excited, nervous and happy, even though I still thought it was "just lunch" - H had told everyone proudly that he had a date! 

We met, and after an awkward side hug (baby in the way) and a hello to H's mom (who adored Roo from the moment she saw him), we set off for lunch at Original Joe's. Immediately, our conversations felt easy (though a bit nervous), and I felt like we both trusted each other more than most - H is diabetic, and normally hid his needles while taking them, but he did them at the table with me, while I, a nervous new mom, nursed at the table without pause. I ordered a salad (I'm normally a big eater) and ate half of it, I was so busy talking. We had so much to say...

After lunch, we didn't want to say goodbye yet, so we got ice cream and talked... Then caught a movie... and finally, in a bold move, I offered to let him come over for a while. He ended up spending the night on the couch - and the next night, too! We just didn't want to say goodbye. We were just friendly with each other, but we both felt a growing attraction, and he even held little Roo while I snapped the first photos of them together - they would be far from the last! 

He did go home the third day... and came back 3 days later! We just couldn't stay apart, and chatted constantly while he was away. I was getting nervous, though, unsure if I was ready for a new relationship so soon... I didn't want to bring a new man into Roo's life, only to have it last for a few months, and disrupt his sense of family and security. But the connection I felt with H was so different than I'd ever felt, it truly was like we were friends first, and developed into this mature, trusting, loving relationship quite naturally. We were both hooked, though I was so hesitant to commit... 

I was so nervous, I even started pushing him away, which I knew quite hurt him. He didn't want to get so close, only to just stay friends forever. He went home for a while after that, but within days I invited him back. We couldn't stay apart! On October 23rd, 2013 he asked me to be his "one and only" - and I said yes!

After that, we were an instant family. He was already used to getting up with me at night, he would wake up and chat with me while I changed Roo's diaper and nursed him back to sleep, then cuddle with us both in the bed every night. We moved in with his parents for a while, and got our barrings as a couple and a family. We faced health challenges and financial troubles, then finally, we got out on our own. 

We moved a few times, all the while anxious to grow our young family. We knew we wanted our kids close together, and so in May 2013 I had my IUD removed in preparation for getting pregnant again. I was (and am) still nursing Roo, though, so my cycles were unpredictable and each month brought negative tests. Finally, we decided to move back to our hometown again to be near family, and in December we moved into our new house - and discovered another surprise (that you can read about more on thepregnantdoula.blogspot.ca)...

We were having another baby!!

With the news of our growing family, we decided it was time to make the commitment and tie the knot - and that's where The Married Doula comes in! More about the engagement and wedding inspiration in the next post. 

For now, I wish you all love and wedding bells!

~ The Married Doula