Bridal Party Attire Update - 7 Weeks to Our Wedding!!

Welcome to the Married Doula!

I have been meaning to do this update FOREVER!! And am only finally getting around to doing it now - at least I'm doing it at all, right??

My last update was in FEBRUARY, and it is now the end of APRIL - oh boy. Thankfully I have made several big decisions, so at least there has been progress. This update is all about the bridal party attire, because that is basically what I have completely done (minus shoes for me & the bridesmaids).

My Dress

I have found "the dress"!! I made a post about my 3 options, and did end up picking one of them - the one most people liked, actually, and the first dress I ever laid eyes on & couldn't get out of my head.

My dress will be...

Dress #3!!

I had so much anxiety about making the "final" decision, especially not being able to try them each on before sending away the money. I finally decided to just go with my gut, and I really think the cut of the waist will be really flattering with my growing bump, so I'm very excited to have chosen it. One bonus is, since ordering it actually dropped in price and I got a little refund on it!

I officially made the order on March 6th, 2015, but through some back and forth with the seller to make sure we had the right measurements (apparently most people's busts are larger than their waist, but not in my case - of course, because I will have a big belly!) everything was in place March 9th. It has officially shipped as of April 20th/21st (it was custom made in Singapore, apparently) and is expected to arrive May 1st to May 19th!!

I'm just looking for some gladiator style white sandles to wear under it, as I sure as heck won't be wearing heels on the big day at 30 weeks pregnant!

The Groom/Groomsmen

We also officially ordered the rentals for the complete tux package, so everything that the men will be wearing is going to come together, with one great deal!

The boys of course had very little opinion on what they would be wearing, so while they were all there, I basically just asked them if they were okay with it, and they all were.

We (I) decided on:

- Vera Wang black tuxedos

- Geometric (Truffle - brown) vests

- Long brown tie (groom)

- Bowties in the Geometric print (groomsmen)

- Oxford black shoes

- white & silver cufflinks & buttons

We're also getting an extra bow tie for our little ringbearer, our son Levi, to wear with his tiny suit - so excited!!

The Maid/Matron of Honour

After much deliberation, we also decided on a bridesmaid dress that fit our style (high low), colour (brown), price (under $100ea), and comfort (not too short/lowcut/showing of "the girls"). It was a LONG process where I was convinced we would never find what I was picturing, until we found...

This beautiful dress!! Amazingly, after scouring every discount prom dress website on the internet, checking eBay and all local bridal shops, we found this beauty on AMAZON.COM of all places. And, the price was unbeatable - $44.99 before shipping.

I love the colour, the fabric, the cut, how flattering without being overly sexy (as it is my mom & sister in law wearing them) it is, and the fact if they wanted to, it is something they can wear again after the wedding.

We officially ordered them on March 27th, and they were here the week of April 8th! Shipping was fast and just what we ordered, they look great on the girls!

We're now on the hunt for cowgirl boots for them to wear, not sure on the colour yet (lighter or darker) as we'll have to try some on with the dress.

Other Details...

I've also gathered a few odds and ends since my last update, including:

- chair covers (110 of them) in a rich brown

- large rosebowls (22 of them) for the centerpieces

- candle holders (around 22), also for the centerpieces 

And this unique guestbook:

Which everyone signs in a fine point sharpie pen, and we can hang on our wall to look at every day - I'm really liking decor that can be purposed after the wedding so we can always be reminded of it, and it wasn't "wasted money", 

Still to be Done

What I'm working on now (though not so whole-heartedly, I have been more in baby-planning mode and these big decisions really wear me down, it's so stressful planning a wedding!) are these:

- narrow down the music for the ceremony & reception

- get needed items for the DJ (table, speakers, wire, microphones)

- order a cake 

- get cake topper

- make payments to the photographer

- buy/make alter

- get tableclothes

- narrow down lighting for the reception/rent string lights

- make sure generators can be borrowed from family

- contact everyone about bringing food for the reception (potluck style)

- figure out a sand ceremony or similar to include Levi in the vows

- get marriage certificate

- write vows

- narrow down flowers (very basic, most likely just baby's breath and white/pink roses)

- cutting rounds of tree for the centerpieces

So basically, everything else!! Haha.

My Feelings

This is the part I most want to write down, to have preserved somewhere. 

All my life, I pictured my future - my husband, how he would propose, the wedding, being pregnant, having children. Well, not everything has worked out how I excepted, of course, least of all the order of things!

I used to watch all the wedding shows, Say Yes to the Dress, Four Weddings, all those shows that glamorize weddings with huge budgets, extreme dresses, extensive planning, and of course bridezillas. I thought that was what I would want, eventually - I always knew I wanted a deeply personal and meaningful ceremony and decor that reflected us as a couple.

When Hunter first began mentioning marriage, I told him I wanted to wait until we had a nice fat budget to have everything I ever dreamed of, and not have to worry about affording it - not that I wanted to spend thousands, but that I would be able to get the things that I wanted without having to cut corners. He thought that was silly, he didn't need a big party, he just wanted to marry me -
I thought he was just being cheap ;)

Well, when I got pregnant with this little bug (who is a GIRL by the way, we found out last month), I realized what I wanted most, I had - a family, a man who loved and cherished me, and this growing belly. What had I always kind of wanted at my wedding? A dress to show off a big, beautiful belly, carrying life with me down the aisle. And the timing couldn't be perfect - baby due in August, so a wedding around June would give the view of a nice bump and the perfect weather for a simple, rustic outdoor wedding.

So, we began planning this wedding, and I immediately got bogged down by all the details - I wanted to plan the wedding myself and not have outside opinions butting in, changing my plans, and I was prepared to make mistakes - that's part of being a young bride/newly wed! But along the way, I found myself getting resentful and reluctant about the wedding, not enjoying the process and even questioning whether I wanted to get married now, this way, at all.

And then, I began to just look at my fiance. One day, as he was fixing something on the truck (of course) I just looked at him and thought - I get to marry that. I get to be with him, forever. I have everything I ever wanted, and this June, we are making a commitment to each other, forever. For the rest of our lives, and beyond. That is the point of this wedding, not the flowers or the lighting or the food.

So my view of the wedding changed. We will all be dressed in wedding attire, I will have my big belly, there will be music, photos will be taken, and we will officially, legally, spiritually be joining our lives - and that's the point. I've heard of and watched people spend thousands, hundreds of thousands, on marriages that don't last as long as the wedding preparations did, and I've known married couples that spent literal hundreds (like, $300) on their weddings, and still be happily married decades later. The wedding is a DAY - a beautiful day, a memorable day, but still, just a day. It's every day after that that really matters, the life we build together.

So, I procrastinate, and I put off the big things, and I won't be hosting the party of the century - our family & friends may judge and compare, say they could have (or will) do better, comment on our financial situation - but in the end, we will have everything I *truly* want, so I'm okay with that.

I just wanted to get that out there, I know that was long but I hope you enjoyed it.

7 weeks exactly until the big day - I can hardly believe it!!

Love, and happy (not) planning,

~ The (Almost) Married Doula