19 weeks - Ultrasound & Gender Reveal TOMORROW!!

I am apparently horrible at blogging - between journaling to the baby, updating Facebook, filming/editing/putting up videos, and trying to update my 3 blogs, all while caring for a crazy 19 month old and a growing belly, my days are long and busy!!

I am 19 weeks 1 day today, and let me just say, it's been a great week <3

One think I've been loving this week is a new photo editing app, PicLab, where these beautiful babies were made:

And waiting in anxious anticipation for our anatomy scan, which was on Wednesday, March 25th.

The things I felt most while waiting for this scan have been:
1) I can't believe it's here already, I remember beginning to plan the gender reveal and putting in the requisition for the scan, and now it's here! I feel like my entire pregnancy (and even before) I have been waiting for this stage of pregnancy, 17 weeks and beyond, where I begin to feel movement, my fiance could feel movement, we see the baby (so much bigger than at our 10 week 5 day dating scan!), and knowing if this Little Bug is a boy or a girl.
2) I REALLY hope that (aside from the baby being healthy, of course) that they can see the gender, because if not I have either a very rushed 3D ultrasound appointment to make or a party to reschedule!
3) This pregnancy still seems a bit surreal for me, as I think back on my first pregnancy and how everything was such a new experience, how I cherished every moment despite the turmoil around me, and how I really cocooned around my pregnancy to stay focused & positive during those hard times. I have a very strong and well established bond with my pregnancy, birth and postpartum with my son, mainly because if I hadn't I would have been swept up in the chaos and I was very worried about depression.
While I am absolutely loving this pregnancy and the new experiences (nursing while pregnant, actually having an involved, excited partner, having a support system for when I need it, just getting to be excited rather than afraid), it feels distinctly different this time around. I would say it is very similar to how I see my relationship with my fiance - it is very, very different from the emotional, desperate, swept-away, idolizing love of a teenage crush. It is calm, safe, understated and reliable. Easy, not filled with extreme emotions and ultimatums.
While it is undoubtedly better, I tend to wonder (as I think many second time moms do) if I will bond with my second child the same way as I will my first, and simply can my heart grow that big? Will the lack of desperation and "you and me against the world" make me feel less in love with this baby? Can I devolve my time, energy and love to two little people equally, and will it be all they need?

One thing was for certain, I couldn't wait to see this Little Bug again, and finally, the day was here! I spoke about it in more detail in my 19 week video (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBGoS-bOCh4), but here are the photos I got:

I went into this ultrasound much more calm about the process (having the screen turned away for the beginning, my fiance having to wait in the waiting room until the end, the tech not saying much as she got the measurements out of the way), and so especially after her telling me right in the beginning that the heart was going strong, I just laid back and was surprisingly not anxious as she did the first half hour of mostly silent measuring.

I did learn the placenta is on the outside (anterior) again, like it was with Roo, though it seems right in the middle this time whereas his was more to the left. I found this really interesting, as I've already been feeling the baby lots and mostly right in the center of my belly, but down low so most likely under the placenta. She did tell me it was no where near the cervix, which was a relief as well.

The baby was "great to look at" for getting the measurements, according to the tech, though he/she was kicking their legs as she was trying to get the femur lengths, silly Bug <3

Finally, she called my fiance into the room and allowed us to both see the baby together for the first time. I couldn't believe how big they seemed for me feeling so small - an entire baby is in there!! The baby was very sweet, though we didn't see the profile in real time, thankfully she had gotten some in the beginning. My favourite was watching the little legs kick, and the foot photo is one I requested, and I'm so glad I did. I just love little baby feet!! 

When we got the photos, I was excited to compare them to Roo's 19 week ultrasound photos (I was 18 weeks 6 days with Bug, 4 days if you go by the early ultrasound dates), without them being side by side they seemed very similar but when I started making these collages the differences became very apparent. 

First of all, most babies look very similar in these 2D scans, there is little detail and their basic shapes will be the same. Upon closer inspection though, I think the most notable difference is their lips - Roo's upper lip seems to "protrude" quite a bit in this photo, while Bug's seem "even". I looked back at Roo's birth photos and found his upper lip does tend to be a bit more "out"...

I even noticed it was he was napping earlier, at 19 months old. 

I think overall, though, their profiles look pretty similar. Their noses have a similar slope, though Roo's looks a bit more rounded at the tip while Bug's is pointed, and the forehead is similar, but again Roo's is rounder. I think the thing I'm most expecting from Bug is a distinct chin, it looks very pronounced here. 

The best part, of course (besides knowing everything was well with Little Bug) was that the tech said she was able to see the sex, and while their guesses weren't 100%, she was "pretty sure". She marked it in the report, and yesterday my fiance got an envelope from the receptionist at our midwife clinic and took it straight to the baker - this evening the baker sent me a photo of the cake, already baked and decorated, this party is really happening!!! 

I can hardly believe it, but the day is here (tomorrow). We pick up the cake at 10am, I have one last decoration (the invitation graphic I created) to print in town, and then we are decorating for the party. Guests show up at 1pm, we hope to cut the cake by 2pm, and then we'll know if Little Bug is a "Lad" or "Lass"!! 

I'm so excited, we have had the first names picked out since before trying to conceive, and just recently settled on middle names for each sex. As soon as we know the sex, we'll know this little person's name! 

Once we know, I will be putting together a reveal video for my Youtube channel (The Pregnant Doula) of the gender party photos and the big reveal at the end, I will be putting the same photos here to announce the sex as soon as that video is live. 

For my Facebook friends and family, I am planning a very special reveal, as I wish everyone could make it but they sadly can't. Since we already know the names, we are going to be running into town right after the party to get the letters for above their crib, and painting them blue, grey, white and either dark blue or coral/pink (our nursery colour scheme), then taking black and white photos of Roo "arranging" them to spell out the name - the last photo will be the correct name, and in colour to reveal both the sex and the first name all at once!! 

My only hope is that I can get those all done in a timely fashion, as I don't want to leave anyone hanging, nor do I want anyone to blurt it out, but I want to reveal nicely in these ways that I've planned.

Anyway, that is all for this update, maybe I will do a more indepth one of symptoms, etc for 20 weeks, but for now...

Love and Happy Gestating!!

~ The Pregnant Doula